I love you KJA

It's so hard to believe that it's almost been a month since I last saw him.. Part of me wishes that I would wake up, and that this would all just be a dream…Without getting completely personal, I wanted to express my feelings..I wanted to put everything down on ‘paper’ so that I could re-read it whenever I missed him. J I want to remember him for the great times, because there were always a lot of them…Because he loved so much. When he told you he loved you, he meant it, damnit. You knew, to your very core, that what he was saying was true. You could feel it in his words, his smile, his embrace.

He was far too young to go; but then again, they do say that the good ones go young. 

As I briefly mentioned just before, he had a smile..that would light up an entire room. I’m not exaggerating either. If anyone could say one things about him, other than his big heart/love for the people around him; it was his smile. “that smile” everyone would say…That big smile of his. J I can hardly remember a time when he wasn't smiling/joking with you. That’s just the type of person that he was.

He wasn't my little brother by blood, but that family is my family.  I was there, growing up beside him and his amazing sisters! He was always there with brotherly advice…reminding us not to settle, and to keep pushing ; but to have a good time in the process!

It’s really true, that everyone grieves differently.

Some eat, some bake, some exercise, some cry, some write, some leave, some investigate…there are so many different things that people do, to try to cope with the fact that you’re not there anymore. They’ll never be able to hear that laugh, or reach out to you for advice…They’ll never feel those arms around you… Or see that smile again… But you live on in our hearts & memories.

Last night, I had a dream… And I saw you in it.. And I really didn’t want to wake up this morning.. I kept snoozing the alarm, hoping that I would fall back into my dream and see you there…but it was already too late again.. you were gone. L When I finally got up this morning, I just smiled…because at least you came to visit me in a dream. I love you little brother. You are amazing…and I think about you every single day.

I love you baby.

Fly High KJAJR